Lord, Save Us From Your Followers

Over a year ago, a college friend of mine introduced me to Dan Merchant. Merchant is an author and documentary film maker. My friend introduced me to him as he was working on a project called "Lord, Save Us From Your Followers." The introduction was kismet, one of those "you had me at hello" moments.

Let me backtrack for a moment. My friend, Mark, is a fellow alum from a small Southern Baptist college in South Georgia. He and I met there, and we were acquaintances at best. Mark is several years younger than I am, so he was starting college as I was finishing. Still, I am glad that God put him in my path.

Fast forward - Mark and I are both out of college. (Thank God! It's been like 10 years for me since graduation, so if I weren't out now I'd be pretty retarded.) Mark is a filmmaker and a happily married young father. I am a social activist homosexual living with my partner. Both of us are recovering Southern Baptists. I think Mark would agree with this statement on our faith - as we both can take issue with some of the directives the SBC has followed in recent years. Mark and I reconnected via social networking sites, and we've had some good conversations. Mark is funnier than I recall, and he's more moderate than some might expect. Mark greeted me with an open mind and a big heart - a rare combination.

So, sometime a year or so ago, Mark introduced me to Dan Merchant and the work he was doing. Dan was finishing a documentary that attempted to answer why religion has become such a weapon. Why is the so-called "Gospel of Love" such a divisive tool? Is it the doctrine itself, or does the problem lie in the messenger? As one who'd grown up in the church (Dad was a deacon, Mom was the head of the WMU), I was intrigued. I grew up in the church - my parents took us every time the doors were open. I have a degree in theology, and I worked as a minister for nearly a decade. I've performed weddings and funerals. And now, I live as a virtual outsider. I do not attend church regularly. I am an out and proud Gay man. For that, I have been repeatedly subjected to hate speech, condemnation and attempts to "cure" my homosexuality - all courtesy of organized religion. Obviously, the work of Dan Merchant spoke to me.

"Lord, Save Us From Your Followers" was recently released on DVD. I received an email from a high school friend telling me that she and her husband had seen it. She apologized to me for any judgments that she'd held in her heart. She told me that the film had touched her, and that it'd made her painfully aware of the hypocrisy that is so prevalent in the Church. I was touched by her kind words - even though I'd never felt any judgment from her. I guess the worst kind of hate is the one you're not even aware of, huh?

After her email, I bumped the film up in my Netflix cue. This past weekend, I watched it. WOW. Thank you, Dan Merchant. Thank you for giving a voice to those who have none. Thank you for giving a well balanced account of the issues dividing the religious and secular sects. Thank you for a thoughtful and intelligent film. I hope your film will be seen by many - and I hope it will change just as many hearts. You are doing a good work.

Thank you, Mark. I appreciate you introducing me to Dan Merchant and his work. Moreover, I appreciate you continually showing me the true love of God and what it means to be a Christian.

HELP A BROTHER OUT

"One must be poor to know the luxury of giving." George Eliot

As we begin a new year and a new decade, our thoughts inevitably turn to change. We all seek to be better people and to make our mark on this world - even if it's in a very small way. The passing of time has a way of reminding us of how small and finite we are. With the year's passing, we resolve to be better versions of ourselves - thinner, kinder, more involved. Working in the nonprofit sector, I see this first hand. Everyone wants to volunteer their time come January 1, but no one can be found 11 months later. Sadly, our zeal and passion to be do-gooders is fleeting.

I recently saw an interview on the local news with a man who created a website. The website has a simple design - it is modeled on a gift registry. Anyone who has ever been to a wedding, housewarming, or child's birth understands the idea of a gift registry. You register for things you need or want - household items, china, baby clothes, furniture. Your friends and relatives can then visit your registry and purchase you items that you not only want, but need. You're essentially telling people what to buy you. It's genius, really. You wind up with the items you want, and your friends and family are blessed with the peace of mind knowing that they've helped you out in your time of need. Touching, right? There's a twist to this guy's website, however. The registry here is for you to get your bills paid. Turns out that the guy was a newlywed who had the foresight to recognize that he needed to pay off his credit cards and student loans more than he needed place settings for 12. Smart guy!

So, as 2010 rolls in, this got me to thinking.....maybe this could work for me? Those of you who know me can attest to the fact that I'm a hard worker. I work 7 days a week at two jobs - just to make ends meet. I'm no slouch. I work these two jobs because I'm desperately trying to pay off credit card debt and student loans. Now, I know this doesn't put me in any special class. Most of my friends have student loan debt - some nearing six figures. I'm lucky that mine is relatively low and I have my payments in control. Still, it will be years (decades?) until I pay the debt off. Also, I carry credit card debt. I fell into the credit card web in college - like so many young people. I've paid off two credit cards in the past five years, and I am now working to wipe out my last card's debt. I know I will never allow myself to be in credit card debt again. I've seen how it affects my life, and I will remember how hard I've had to work to pay off the debt. I will never forget the years of working two jobs, the vacations I couldn't afford to take, and the weekends of relaxation I missed due to having to work two jobs. I won't go back.

I've not registered on this guy's site, but it did make me think. So many people are looking for ways to make an impact, but they lack the momentum to find a cause. So many people want to help others out, but they don't know where to start. What if you could help out a friend? Why not channel your do-gooder instincts into someone you know? Think of the good of being able to see how someone's life is so visibly changed by your generosity?

Now, I don't anticipate that you will cut me a check to pay off my student loan debt. I doubt that you'll clear up my credit card bill next month. I did think, however, that what a difference it would make if we all pitched in to help. Each person working in their own small way - each person making as much difference as they could! It's the little things that add up, right? A penny is pretty worthless, but get 100 of them and you have a dollar - right? So, that's the premise - one can do little, but lots of friends could potentially make a huge impact.

So, I am trying a social experiment. What do I stand to gain? I stand to lose a little debt. What do you gain? You get the tremendous self satisfaction of knowing that you've made a difference in your own backyard - you've helped propel a friend/loved one to a better place. Think of the doors this could open? And think of how this could ripple out? My friends help me, and word spreads. Eventually, those friends help other friends. This could generate a whole network of people who are literally "paying it forward." That is, if my theory is correct and people act on the desire to do better and to make an impact. If not? Well, if not, then I've only lost a bit of dignity by airing a bit of my own dirty laundry concerning my financial matters.

So, here is my premise. I have over 900 friends on Facebook - all people I know in real life (to varying degrees). If each one of those people donated just $1, that is nearly $1000. Think on that. We can all spare a dollar, right? If your friend asked to have a dollar you'd surely oblige - wouldn't you? So, consider your friend asking.....everyone donate what they can. Maybe you feel generous and you can spare $10 - GREAT! Maybe you're rich and you can spare $200 - FANTASTIC! The dollar amount is less important - the importance is to see if you will give. When push comes to shove, WILL YOU HELP A FRIEND OUT??? Will you put your money where your mouth is?

Gandhi said it best - "We must be the change we wish to see in the world."

Well, let the change begin.....let it begin with you. Let's usher in a decade of change. Are you up for it?

***If you're interested, let me know.....email or message me. I can send you my address for a donation or you can give online via paypal. We'll work something out.

The Sanctity of Marriage

This evening, I was listening to NPR on my way home. A very interesting story caught my attention. The reporter was discussing an artificial hymen.

It's okay...you read that correctly. I said "ARTIFICIAL HYMEN". Hmmm? WTF? Yeah, that's the response I had too. The reporter detailed the importance of women maintaining their virginity in certain cultures. The story focused on women in the Middle East, Egypt and India. These cultures highly prize female "purity". A woman who has sex outside of marriage is viewed as damaged goods - unable to wed.

The reporter interviewed an Egyptian man, he stated that it is common (if not even expected) for men to have had sex before marriage. He laughed, however, at the thought of sexual equality for women. He reasoned that they are women - it just is the way it is. When confronted with the fact that this wasn't much of an argument, he agreed and cited "it just is how it is." WOW. An Indian woman was quoted as saying "a female can break as many glass ceilings as she'd like, but she better not break her hymen."

Really?

This got me thinking of my own situation. I am currently unable to wed. It's not because I don't have a partner who loves me. It's not because I'm not ready to commit to a lifetime with someone else. It's not even because I'm sexually unpure (shutup). Rather, it's because some people cling to an archaic and unfounded belief that marriage can't possibly be for anyone other than a man and a woman. Much like those women in the Mid East, Egypt and India, I find myself the victim of outdated and unfounded social beliefs.

The women in these cultures would rather purchase a fake hymen and enter into a marriage built on lies than to defy the cultural mandates they've grown up with. WOW. Let that one sink in for a while.

I'm glad I live in a country where we can be so vocal about opposition to societal standards. I'm glad I will one day (soon) be able to marry my partner. Mostly, however, I'm glad that I can look forward to doing it all without dishing out $29.99 for a fake hymen.

Ain't life grand?

All About Perspective

This is Susan Boyle. Susan Boyle is 41. She is unemployed and lives in a small town in Ireland - Blackburn on West Lothian. Susan lives alone with her cat Pebbles.

By all means, Susan is NOT who you want to be. She is over the hill, overweight and has a serious case of overgrown eyebrows. Aside from her need for a salad and some tweezing, Susan is just a common woman. She'd probably never make your radar.

Except for the fact that Susan can sing - like an angel.

Susan was a contestant on Britain's Got Talent - a talent show in the UK with Simon Cowell as a judge. On a recent episode, Susan appeared. She told the judges of how she's always wanted to be a singer; she spoke of how she'd always wanted to sing in front of a large audience. She idolizes Elaine Paige - the First Lady of the British Musical Theater.

Everyone expected Susan to bring a big response - mostly in laughter. Everyone was wrong.

Susan has a wonderful voice - as seen in her performance of Les Miserable's "I dreamed a dream". She may even go on to win the competition.

Susan reminds me to follow your dream. No matter how out of the ordinary, no matter who says you won't make it, no matter the obstacles - FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS. I am encouraged to do better and be better by people like Susan Boyle. I am encouraged to chase my dreams no matter what and to always believe.

Thank you for the reminder, Susan.....and good luck.

That can't be natural....

I've been called many things - a trendinista, a label whore, a diva, a hipster. I like to think that I am au courant. I try to stay abreast of things and like to think that I'm in touch with what's going on in the world. I have my finger on the pulse of society. I'm hip. I'm cool. I'm with it.

At least, I thought I was. That was until I met Betty.

Now, maybe I'm crazy - maybe I'm tragically out of touch - but when did this become an issue? Are there really people out there dying their pubes? In today's culture of economic devastation and global calamity, is there really someone who has nothing else to worry about but whether or not their pubic hair is the right shade?

Is this to cover grey, or is this purely for aesthetics? I see one of the lines is labeled as "fun" and features funky colors like pink. I don't know Betty - but obviously she and I have different definitions for fun. My definition does not include pubic hair - pink or any other kind.

What are your thoughts?

RED CARPET RECAP

Can we talk about the Oscar's? Each year we have this huge buildup to what is arguably one of the most boring televised events around. And yet, each year, I'm glued to my television. Is it to see the films garner the laurels of praise they deserve? No. It's all about the red carpet, bitches.


I'm talking gowns. The good, the bad, and the ugly - in no particular order.

In fact, I'd have captioned this picture the drab, the predictable, and the overly ornate.

Let's start with Miss Jessica "I ain't got a comb" Biehl. Apparently, when you are dating Justin Timberlake you can't be bothered to comb your mussy 'do. Apparently, you also can't starch. This sad beige mess looks like it's bow has gone all droopy. She looks like she has a napkin tucked in her boobs.

As for Beyonce, it's a case of been there - done that. The mermaid cut gowns are so over. It's the red carpet staple - and it's so boring. If I see one more fishtail hem, I think I'll scream! With that said, I do appreciate that B'ce kept the jewels and hair minimal.

Someone who could take a note from Beyonce on minimalism - Mylie Cyrus. To quote her Hannah Montanna character - SWEET NIBLETS!!! As Tim Gunn says, "that's a lot of look." You're 16 Mylie - why are you decked out like a whorish wedding cake? You look like your gown was made of Matador suits. And that is never a good objective.

Lest you think I hated everyone, however, there are a few gems of the evening.

Viola Davis - I loved you. You're old school glam.

You proved that all that glitters may well be gold.

Anne Hathaway has been consistently stunning this Awards season.

This gown was no exception. I loved the swirl of paillettes that graduated in size. I only wish it'd been more of a color - but she was stunning.

Alicia Keys was another look I loved. Alicia is sometimes hit and miss, but she delivered in a very soft and feminine look.

Lastly, and I may take some heat on this - I liked Angelina Jolie. While Brad & Angie may be most comfortable in flak jackets and khakis, circling the globe on their scavenger hunt for babies, they cleaned up remarkably well. Angelina was modestly elegant - she looked both sophisticated and understated - a look that is hard to pull off.

Bravo, Mrs. Pitt. Bravo.

QUITTERS Never Win

There is the old adage that says "when the going gets tough - the tough get going." It is obvious, no matter which side of the fence you're looking from, that the times are tough. We are living in a world of political turmoil, social unrest, and economic instability. If ever there were a time for a strong leader to step forward - this would be it.

We are less than 2 months away from what will likely be one of the most historical elections of our time. We will potentially have our first African American President, or we will have our first female Vice President (and our oldest President ever). With such little time before we cast our ballots, you would think that the candidates would be scrambling to win over those last voters who are straddling the fence. Now is the time to put your best foot forward - to really show us what you're made of, your character.

So, what does John McCain do? Well, for starters - he has decided to postpone his campaign. McCain stated that he wants "a suspension of the presidential campaign—no events, no ads, and no debate Friday—so that he and Barack Obama can head to Washington to forge a bipartisan solution." Obama, however, has asked that the debates and campaigns continue - apparently he can multi-task better than McCain. Despite the fact that McCain doesn't sit on any committees relevant to the current economic crises, he felt it necessary to "suspend" activities and head back to Washington. This can best be seen as "tucking your tail" and running home - McCain needed to do something. He is slipping in the polls both nationally and in the battleground states. He's playing on Obama's turf in his effort to sell himself both as a change agent and as a steward of the economy. When voters are asked which candidate represents change, Obama beats McCain by more than 30 percentage points. When they're asked which candidate they trust to handle the economy, he beats McCain almost as handily. McCain has also opted to suspend the upcoming Presidential debate - set for Friday.

Then, on top of this, last night McCain bailed out of a schedule interview on Late Night with David Letterman. McCain called the host to tell him he couldn't make it because he was flying back to Washington to suspend his campaign and save the economy. Moments later, David Letterman linked to CBS's live interview of McCain with Katie Couric. He had blown of David Letterman to take an interview with the more prestigious Couric - and he'd lied about it. Kudos to Letterman for not letting it slide. He called the candidate out on his lie.

So, where is Obama in all of this? Well, Obama has not abandoned his campaign. In fact, he's gone on record to state that he plans to debate on Friday. Obama is correct in stating that now, more than ever, people need to see their Presidential hopefuls engaged in a debate on the topics that are even more relevant. In the midst of a financial collapse - why not offer the people your views on how to fix the situation? Obama aides also argued that McCain was not only being transparently political, but reckless. Imagine what that recklessness would be like if McCain were in the Oval Office, they say. On Wednesday Joe Biden had already given a speech framing McCain as risky and dangerous as commander-in-chief in the hopes of planting that story line before the first debate.

We need a candidate who is committed to seeing things through - not a candidate who will "suspend" things when times get tough. A President must be able to - in the very least - multitask, and to handle the pressures of previous engagements and unforseen circumstances. We need a candidate who is not John McCain.